Missed posting yesterday. I was a bit under the weather. Nothing I can put my finger on other than perhaps the storm front moving through but I woke up with a horrible headache and nothing would do but sleep.
Had a lovely birthday. According to my notifications nearly 300 of my Facebook friends sent wishes. I'm looking forward to seeing them at the end of Lent. Spent the evening with my friends playing Cards Against Humanity, eating dressed up tater tots and gluten free pineapple upside down cake and having lovely cocktails and wine. In another bit of serendipity it ended up that we were also celebrating a new job so yay for that. I'm not sharing details until the job holder makes it Facebook official. LOL!
Things I learned during week two:
What I miss most about Facebook is conversation.
Even though there is a comment option here only one person has used it. Often times I post things to Facebook strictly to start dialogue. Yes, I know. Sometimes that dialogue devolves into debate and people get ugly but even those conversations serve a purpose. If nothing else they help me refine my friends list. I have a circle of friends that do the same kind of posting and I feel woefully left out since I'm missing out on six weeks of those conversations in the middle of the election cycle. Whatever will I do on Super Tuesday?
What it bothers me most to be missing is personal stuff. Births, deaths, prayer requests, life changes.
Some of it Jessica is catching and passing along to me and some of it I'm catching in the 10 minutes here or there when these things post but I know I'm missing things that are important. When someone is motivated to share something real with the entire internet world it's important. Yeah there's a lot of pointless garbage posted to Facebook but it has its useful points as well and in choosing to give that up I feel badly about places where I'd normally offer a word of support and I'm not there to know that is needed.
What I'm accomplishing that I otherwise wouldn't be is eating at home.
That's been a goal for some months and it became critical these last two weeks due to a fairly massive banking error on our part. Since I am off Facebook and on the Lenten Pantry Challenge I am actually doing it for a change. When I get bored, without Facebook to fill the void, I find myself on Pinterest searching for pantry challenge recipes and actually getting up and cooking the things that I find. The instant oatmeal cups are pretty handy and the recipe for frittata is using up odds and ends left overs in a delicious way.
What is feeding my spirit is being outside.
I suffer from depression and it gets worse seasonally. Usually February is one of my worst months. Being away from Facebook makes it far less appealing to hibernate and hide so I find myself getting outside for at least a little bit of time most days, particularly when it is pretty outside. Noticing that my wild and messy backyard photographed remarkably well when the boys got married has me thinking of what I could do with it if I can clean it up a bit. It got seriously back to nature last summer and I still need to find a way (humanely if possible) to get rid of the doggone moles but I think being out there more this spring and summer is a goal of mine.
What I'm into creatively is costuming. All the costuming.
I haven't been to BHS this week because I'm up against a deadline for Pageant. Sashes are embroidered and waiting to be assembled and embellished. Never fear though, work is going on or Anne Frank as well even though I'm not in house. I have the costume plot nearly done (what they should be wearing when) and I know what needs to be sourced this weekend from Goodwill to finish out the wardrobe for the boys. I need to shoot a message to Doc and remind him that I need that dental jacket asap. Monday I need to go to Stagedoor and borrow the shoes for the guys and to Playhouse and rent the Nazi uniforms. In addition to that I have Mid-South Con coming up the final weekend before Easter and I have my panel assignments for that to prepare for so my creative life is lots of fabric, pins, and needles right now.
So there are the top 5 things going on with me this week as a result of the great Lenten Facebook fast of 2016. Until tomorrow, Peace.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
48 - Happy Birthday to Me!
So when you're missing Facebook and all the "Happy Birthday" posts because you gave up Facebook for Lent and you had the misfortune to be born right in the middle of it, it's kinda nice to open up Google and discover that there's a special doodle because it's your birthday.
Yep, today's my birthday. I'm 48. I think as a woman and particularly a Southern woman I'm not supposed to say that out loud but I really don't give a rip. I've embraced the fact that I'm aging. We all do if we're fortunate. I am thinking of a young friend today whose older brother isn't going to get that chance and I ache for him. I ache for his mother, his dad, his extended family. 21 is too young. I can't begin to imagine. Sweet Oakley I don't know if you'll see this but you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers today.
So forgive me if I choose to be grateful to be alive. Pardon me if acknowledging my age is breaking some social bullshit taboo. Honestly of the decades I have lived thus far on this earth my 40's have been my favorite. For me, forty something has been about finding my voice and not being afraid to use it. I've written more, spoken more, advocated for myself and others more in my 40's than in any decade before. Things that I was always passionate about but didn't feel like I had sufficient wisdom to be taken seriously about I can now begin speaking to. I know who I am and most importantly I LIKE who I am and those who don't like me are welcome to vacate my circles.
40 has been the decade of detox. Shedding toxic people. Leaving toxic organizations. Becoming a vegetarian for heaven sakes! Yeah nobody would have predicted THAT one in my 20s or 30s. I have another blog here. It's private for a myriad of reasons. I've had it for over a decade. Late last night I was reading posts from the last few years and it was quite eye opening. The whole reason for journaling I think is the ability to look back and see the changes that happen without one being aware of them as they are happening. A common theme over the last at least 10 years has been one of seeking health and wholeness. I live with a chronic illness, that hasn't changed, but I do believe in some equally or perhaps even more important ways I've made progress in that direction.
I grew up in rural middle Tennessee. I lived in a subdivision in a time when kids were free range. We left as soon as the sun was up and we were up and we weren't required to be back until the street lights came on. We biked and walked and in my case often roller skated all over the place. My grandparents on both sides of the family lived on acreage that was a combination of fields and woods. Us kids spent hours in those spaces. We were in 4-H and FFA and FHA and Scouts. I was bookish and artsy but my reading nooks and studio spaces were just as likely to be in the crook of a tree or atop a boulder as within a building. Living here I have to remember to make the effort to reconnect to that side of me.
I'm lucky. To be an urban environment Memphis has a ton of green spaces. I joke about living in the hood...and to a degree I do...but I live in the hood in a house with a decent sized back yard where I can grow things and stand barefooted in my labyrinth and ground myself. A yard with a great sprawling wild thing of a cherry tree that will be bursting forth in pink profusion before Lent ends. I remember being dumbstruck my first year here when on a visit to the zoo I made my way through a crowd of kids to see what exotic beast had them so fascinated only to discover a Holstein cow. Now I have friends with urban chickens and I'm daydreaming of someday owning a pygmy goat.
I have found a path that is working for me spiritually and emotionally. That's not a terrible place to be on the backside of 40 staring at 50 in the not so far distance. No, we're not where we thought we'd be financially at this stage in the game and no I didn't expect to still be here in the hood 22 years after we bought our "starter home" but in the ways that matter life is good.
Even being off Facebook for my birthday is good. I've got time to blog. I've got plans tonight with good friends. I just pulled a gorgeous pineapple upside down cake out of the oven. Potatoes are in baking to have with a salad for a late lunch. Austin has an interview in a couple of hours that I am sending positive thoughts out to the universe about. I might even have a nap. It is good.
And if you want to send me birthday comments, just hit that button down there or shoot me a message.
Until tomorrow, Peace.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Serendipity
Serendipity - a "fortunate happenstance" or "pleasant surprise"
Saturday I wrote about the ballet. Yesterday I had my "to do list" meltdown. Last night I went to Connie's to work on the pageant sashes and so that Harold could see if our friend Jeremy might want to buy a laptop he had refurbished. These three things are seemingly completely unrelated.
However, Jeremy is one of a group of insanely creative out of the box folks doing really cool things who I met back in 2010 at an event Connie organized called the "Outlaw Preachers (re)Union." (OP10) Among those really cool people are creatives, preachers, folks that run and work with non-profits and others who are part of this crazy thing happening around us that the late Phyllis Tickle called "The Great Emergence."
That I became a part of the Outlaws at all was a bit of Serendipity to begin with. I was 10 months out from being invited to leave the church where I had been serving for the last 10 years when I ran into Connie one day at Sam's. Connie's family of five is obviously larger than my family of three but the amount of stuff she was buying that day was enough for a small army. It was the day before OP10 and she was buying the things she would need for the communal meals and to stock the snack room. We talked a bit and she invited me to come. I'd been hearing about this OP10 thing from a few folks I read online [Adele Sakler (who I'd been following for a year over at the now defunct queermergent) for one] but despite having read THIS
I had no idea that it was Connie's baby. I was excited and I decided that since I didn't have anything else to do that I'd take her up on it and join the (re)Union. She called it that because even though these folks had relationships online, built through a twitter hashtag, for many if not most of us it was the first time we'd ever come together in one physical place. It was a family reunion for a family that had not yet met. So I went. And I met Adele and Jeremy and Jay and John Harrison and Bec Cranford and Bud Wilson and Tim Kurek and a whole bunch more other people that I now count among my friends.
The following year at OP11 I shared a suite with this awesome crew from North Carolina including Hugh Hollowell and his wife Renee. Hugh runs this amazing hospitality house called Love Wins and a year ago he started a weekly letter he calls The Hughsletter where he shares 5 things he has found during the week in his relentless pursuit of beauty. Today one of them was about Ballet, Misty Copeland and Degas which ties back to my posting from Saturday.
http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/art-books-music/a14055/misty-copeland-degas-0316/
One. Two. Three. Connie. Jeremy. Hugh. Serendipity.
Also the embroidery on the sashes got done, I did enough batch cooking to have the basis for three meals at least and I am on track for making my deadlines.
Until tomorrow, my birthday, Peace.
Saturday I wrote about the ballet. Yesterday I had my "to do list" meltdown. Last night I went to Connie's to work on the pageant sashes and so that Harold could see if our friend Jeremy might want to buy a laptop he had refurbished. These three things are seemingly completely unrelated.
However, Jeremy is one of a group of insanely creative out of the box folks doing really cool things who I met back in 2010 at an event Connie organized called the "Outlaw Preachers (re)Union." (OP10) Among those really cool people are creatives, preachers, folks that run and work with non-profits and others who are part of this crazy thing happening around us that the late Phyllis Tickle called "The Great Emergence."
That I became a part of the Outlaws at all was a bit of Serendipity to begin with. I was 10 months out from being invited to leave the church where I had been serving for the last 10 years when I ran into Connie one day at Sam's. Connie's family of five is obviously larger than my family of three but the amount of stuff she was buying that day was enough for a small army. It was the day before OP10 and she was buying the things she would need for the communal meals and to stock the snack room. We talked a bit and she invited me to come. I'd been hearing about this OP10 thing from a few folks I read online [Adele Sakler (who I'd been following for a year over at the now defunct queermergent) for one] but despite having read THIS
I had no idea that it was Connie's baby. I was excited and I decided that since I didn't have anything else to do that I'd take her up on it and join the (re)Union. She called it that because even though these folks had relationships online, built through a twitter hashtag, for many if not most of us it was the first time we'd ever come together in one physical place. It was a family reunion for a family that had not yet met. So I went. And I met Adele and Jeremy and Jay and John Harrison and Bec Cranford and Bud Wilson and Tim Kurek and a whole bunch more other people that I now count among my friends.
The following year at OP11 I shared a suite with this awesome crew from North Carolina including Hugh Hollowell and his wife Renee. Hugh runs this amazing hospitality house called Love Wins and a year ago he started a weekly letter he calls The Hughsletter where he shares 5 things he has found during the week in his relentless pursuit of beauty. Today one of them was about Ballet, Misty Copeland and Degas which ties back to my posting from Saturday.
One. Two. Three. Connie. Jeremy. Hugh. Serendipity.
Also the embroidery on the sashes got done, I did enough batch cooking to have the basis for three meals at least and I am on track for making my deadlines.
Until tomorrow, my birthday, Peace.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Stuff to Get Done Sunday
I have stuff to get done today.
Pageant goes into tech in the next week or so and I have to finish these sashes.
Anne Frank's girls are costumed but the boys still need clothes.
Mid-South Con is rapidly approaching and there are panels to be prepped and costumes to be made.
Food needs to come together for the week ahead.
All I want to do is sleep.
I slept horribly last night, waking every hour and flipping about like a fish trying to find a position that was comfortable.
Consequently I missed church.
I've been awake about two hours and while I should be doing things toward those 4 projects listed above what I want to do is take some more tylenol and go back to bed.
I think I'll take that tylenol.
And then cook.
And maybe then a nap.
So much stuff to get done. No energy to do it.
Until tomorrow. Peace.
Pageant goes into tech in the next week or so and I have to finish these sashes.
Anne Frank's girls are costumed but the boys still need clothes.
Mid-South Con is rapidly approaching and there are panels to be prepped and costumes to be made.
Food needs to come together for the week ahead.
All I want to do is sleep.
I slept horribly last night, waking every hour and flipping about like a fish trying to find a position that was comfortable.
Consequently I missed church.
I've been awake about two hours and while I should be doing things toward those 4 projects listed above what I want to do is take some more tylenol and go back to bed.
I think I'll take that tylenol.
And then cook.
And maybe then a nap.
So much stuff to get done. No energy to do it.
Until tomorrow. Peace.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Everything is Beautiful at the Ballet
I didn't grow up dreaming of being a ballerina. That wasn't even in the realm of possibilities in the small rural Tennessee town where I grew up. Not when I was growing up anyway. I was probably in my late teens before I saw a live ballet performance. In fact it may have been Ballet Memphis annual performance of the Nutcracker. I grew up wanting to be a gymnast, like Nadia Comaneci. An equally impossible prospect by the way. Although when I was 10 or 11 a couple moved to town that taught gymnastics and I was able to take lessons and feel the narrow width of a balance beam beneath my feet. I can still do a decent cartwheel, although at nearly 48 it takes a toll on my body such that I choose not to do it often.
Still PBS brought culture into my home and through that I fell in love with Mikhail Baryshnikov when I was a kid. This was probably as much because of his daring defection from the Soviet Union and his stunning good looks as his talents as a dancer. I loved White Nights, which probably makes the folks I'm reviewing films with doubt my judgement, although it did really well at the box office. Actually I've always been more drawn to the male dancers, perhaps knowing that no matter if I did weigh 90 pounds (not since grade school) I would never have the requisite body type to be a ballerina myself. Baryshnikov, Hines, that guy from Riverdance...Michael Flatley...I love watching these guys do what they do. The combination of grace and strength is mesmerizing.
So when Melissa Luck offered three free tickets to Ballet Memphis' Places for Saturday night I couldn't wait to go. By the time I will get a round to posting this it will be too late for those of you who haven't already to go and see it and that is a sad thing. Three new works representing a place in time; Future, Present and Past each separated by a short intermission, Places was wonderful. I don't know enough about dance to claim to know what was actually going on but I will tell you the way things connected and touched me. What I received out of what was being transmitted.
The first piece, "Elapse" reminded me of the Kabuki dancers I saw at the 1982 World's Fair in Knoxville. All angles and with a very strong feel of the Japaneses Kabuki and the Thai Khon style style of dance. The costuming, by Christine Darch, evoked three of the four elements, the only one not obviously present being "Fire". Three large sand glasses served as props markers of the passage of time. There was a very mechanical feel, almost as if the dancers were all part of a machine, at times. It was intriguing.
"Glory", the second work, was a hip-hop ballet fusion piece with a strongly tribal element to it. Bruce Bui's amazing costumes evoked tribal tattoos or body paint and provided a strong graphic element to a piece that used media as a part of the story being told as well as the dramatically strong dance elements. The racial diversity and pairings of the dancers seemed to speak to what is going on presently with #Blacklivesmatter and the things being unmasked in our community and our nation that perhaps we thought had already been dealt with. It was challenging.
The final piece, the nostalgic "Sweet Boy Slide" seemed to be the crowd favorite. With its Stax music and joyful choreography it was a welcome respite from the "heavier" pieces it followed. I wanted every one of the beautifully done dresses Bruce Bui put his ballerinas in for this "sock hop" feeling piece. It was really fun to finally get to see my friend Elizabeth Mensah do that thing she does.
For those of you that missed it I'm sorry. It was a beautiful show.
Until Tomorrow, Peace.
Still PBS brought culture into my home and through that I fell in love with Mikhail Baryshnikov when I was a kid. This was probably as much because of his daring defection from the Soviet Union and his stunning good looks as his talents as a dancer. I loved White Nights, which probably makes the folks I'm reviewing films with doubt my judgement, although it did really well at the box office. Actually I've always been more drawn to the male dancers, perhaps knowing that no matter if I did weigh 90 pounds (not since grade school) I would never have the requisite body type to be a ballerina myself. Baryshnikov, Hines, that guy from Riverdance...Michael Flatley...I love watching these guys do what they do. The combination of grace and strength is mesmerizing.
So when Melissa Luck offered three free tickets to Ballet Memphis' Places for Saturday night I couldn't wait to go. By the time I will get a round to posting this it will be too late for those of you who haven't already to go and see it and that is a sad thing. Three new works representing a place in time; Future, Present and Past each separated by a short intermission, Places was wonderful. I don't know enough about dance to claim to know what was actually going on but I will tell you the way things connected and touched me. What I received out of what was being transmitted.
The first piece, "Elapse" reminded me of the Kabuki dancers I saw at the 1982 World's Fair in Knoxville. All angles and with a very strong feel of the Japaneses Kabuki and the Thai Khon style style of dance. The costuming, by Christine Darch, evoked three of the four elements, the only one not obviously present being "Fire". Three large sand glasses served as props markers of the passage of time. There was a very mechanical feel, almost as if the dancers were all part of a machine, at times. It was intriguing.
"Glory", the second work, was a hip-hop ballet fusion piece with a strongly tribal element to it. Bruce Bui's amazing costumes evoked tribal tattoos or body paint and provided a strong graphic element to a piece that used media as a part of the story being told as well as the dramatically strong dance elements. The racial diversity and pairings of the dancers seemed to speak to what is going on presently with #Blacklivesmatter and the things being unmasked in our community and our nation that perhaps we thought had already been dealt with. It was challenging.
The final piece, the nostalgic "Sweet Boy Slide" seemed to be the crowd favorite. With its Stax music and joyful choreography it was a welcome respite from the "heavier" pieces it followed. I wanted every one of the beautifully done dresses Bruce Bui put his ballerinas in for this "sock hop" feeling piece. It was really fun to finally get to see my friend Elizabeth Mensah do that thing she does.
For those of you that missed it I'm sorry. It was a beautiful show.
Until Tomorrow, Peace.
Friday, February 19, 2016
Withdrawals Again
So yesterday I broke my Facebook fast because my best friends got married in my backyard and I had wedding photos to send and congratulations to extend and it was totally the best reason ever. Today I'm dealing with the aftermath.
Like I said a couple of posts ago the happy news things on Facebook are the things I really miss and yesterday was kind of the ultimate happy news fix and now I'm going through the whole Facebook withdrawal process all over again.
Also while I was on I happened to see that one of my friend's son's cancer treatment isn't going well and they're seeking a second opinion from St. Jude. Another friend posted asking for support e-mails to be sent to the parole board because her mother's murderer is coming up for parole again soon. I catch myself wondering if this fast is beneficial or not when it is causing me to miss things like that.
At the same time I caught a glimpse (a big one) of the usual BS Facebook drama. Post after post that reminded me why I chose this as my Lenten discipline in the first place sends me swinging back to the knowledge that yes, this is the right decision. That doesn't mean it's an easy decision. I suppose if it were easy it wouldn't be a sacrifice though would it?
I'm caught up on my film reviews except for the one telling me the password is incorrect. I've watched documentaries all day today. Next week I need to space them out better.
I've got two kinds of potatoes and a tray of carrots roasting in the oven.
I'm avoiding my phone. That is the one connection that I can't seem to avoid consistently. I lose too many notifications that way.
In some ways I feel like I'm right back at square one. Heck, even one of the films I was reviewing had constant references to Facebook. It's everywhere.
This has strengthened my resolve not to take Sundays. The little bit makes it harder the next day. Still I have no regrets about taking yesterday to celebrate. Love is always worth celebrating.
Until tomorrow, Peace.
Like I said a couple of posts ago the happy news things on Facebook are the things I really miss and yesterday was kind of the ultimate happy news fix and now I'm going through the whole Facebook withdrawal process all over again.
Also while I was on I happened to see that one of my friend's son's cancer treatment isn't going well and they're seeking a second opinion from St. Jude. Another friend posted asking for support e-mails to be sent to the parole board because her mother's murderer is coming up for parole again soon. I catch myself wondering if this fast is beneficial or not when it is causing me to miss things like that.
At the same time I caught a glimpse (a big one) of the usual BS Facebook drama. Post after post that reminded me why I chose this as my Lenten discipline in the first place sends me swinging back to the knowledge that yes, this is the right decision. That doesn't mean it's an easy decision. I suppose if it were easy it wouldn't be a sacrifice though would it?
I'm caught up on my film reviews except for the one telling me the password is incorrect. I've watched documentaries all day today. Next week I need to space them out better.
I've got two kinds of potatoes and a tray of carrots roasting in the oven.
I'm avoiding my phone. That is the one connection that I can't seem to avoid consistently. I lose too many notifications that way.
In some ways I feel like I'm right back at square one. Heck, even one of the films I was reviewing had constant references to Facebook. It's everywhere.
This has strengthened my resolve not to take Sundays. The little bit makes it harder the next day. Still I have no regrets about taking yesterday to celebrate. Love is always worth celebrating.
Until tomorrow, Peace.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
The One Where I Marry my Best Friends
Somedays an average Thursday turns out to be something quite magical.
My best friends have been engaged just a bit over two years. When they got engaged it wasn't legal for them to get married. That changed just a bit less than 8 months ago. We have been wondering when they were going to set a date ever since.
Today the wondering ended.
This afternoon I was having a lazy day, reading a novel on my kindle and cuddled up with the dog when the daughter came bounding downstairs holding out her cell phone. "Austin wants to talk to you."
Austin never calls. We text. We facebook message. He never calls. "What's wrong?"
"I don't think anything is wrong but he wants to talk to you."
"Hello love!"
"Hey, so we just left the county clerks office and we need someone to sign our marriage license and I know you can do that so can we come over and have you sign this for us?"
I stared at the phone and the disaster area that is my house and panicked for a hot second and then said the only thing that I would ever have said. "Yeah. The house is a hot mess but come on. Where are you?"
After figuring out that there was absolutely zero possibility of being able to get the house company ready in time I noticed that it was a stunningly beautiful day outside. So I went outside. Pulled some overly tall weeds out of my labyrinth, re-arranged the lawn furniture a bit and was sitting at the bistro table on my front porch when they pulled into the driveway about 20 minutes later.
We talked quickly over what they wanted, I signed all the legal stuff and after grabbing a few things I needed we headed to the center of the labyrinth. The ceremony was short and sweet and very them and it was my honor to be the one to pronounce them husband and husband.
My best friends have been engaged just a bit over two years. When they got engaged it wasn't legal for them to get married. That changed just a bit less than 8 months ago. We have been wondering when they were going to set a date ever since.
Today the wondering ended.
This afternoon I was having a lazy day, reading a novel on my kindle and cuddled up with the dog when the daughter came bounding downstairs holding out her cell phone. "Austin wants to talk to you."
Austin never calls. We text. We facebook message. He never calls. "What's wrong?"
"I don't think anything is wrong but he wants to talk to you."
"Hello love!"
"Hey, so we just left the county clerks office and we need someone to sign our marriage license and I know you can do that so can we come over and have you sign this for us?"
I stared at the phone and the disaster area that is my house and panicked for a hot second and then said the only thing that I would ever have said. "Yeah. The house is a hot mess but come on. Where are you?"
After figuring out that there was absolutely zero possibility of being able to get the house company ready in time I noticed that it was a stunningly beautiful day outside. So I went outside. Pulled some overly tall weeds out of my labyrinth, re-arranged the lawn furniture a bit and was sitting at the bistro table on my front porch when they pulled into the driveway about 20 minutes later.
We talked quickly over what they wanted, I signed all the legal stuff and after grabbing a few things I needed we headed to the center of the labyrinth. The ceremony was short and sweet and very them and it was my honor to be the one to pronounce them husband and husband.
Slade and Austin's Wedding Day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)